My family reunion took place last week. I saw relatives I hadn’t seen in a really long time. We had the opportunity to fellowship and catch up. For the majority of those who came from out of town to attend, it was the first time they’d seen or spoken with me since my mom suffered her medical catastrophe, so this was the first time they were able to witness the changes that have occurred with me and with her.
One of my distant cousins that I used to be close with took the time to minister to me and try to encourage me. She asked me something along the order of what I thought my barriers to my ultimate success were or what I thought the biggest problems –aside from my mom’s health issues—were in my life.
I told her it was money. If money were not a concern, there would be a lot less stress in my life because mom’s medical health is coming along.
She responded by telling me she thought if I had found that passion, that thing that I wanted to do, the money would come.
I used to believe that. I really did.
I don’t believe that anymore.
I know that is a widespread belief, along with the fact that if you do what you love, you’ll never work a day in your life.
Both of those beliefs…in my opinion are bullshit.
Anything you do takes work.
I use Debbi Allen for an example.
As a child, I watched her on Fame and that famous speech she would give that went something like, “Fame costs, and right here is where you start paying.”
That shit has so much truth in it. SO MUCH!
It’s bullshit to think that just because you love what you do, it’s not work. You may love what you do, but you damn well better put the work in to be the best at it that you can be or you’re not going to get very far because talent and love will only get you so far.
What’s that other saying, “Faith without work is dead” or something to that effect. And don’t forget, “You can’t get by on love alone,” you simply can’t. You have to put in work.
This blog may feel like it’s all over the place to some, but just ride with me for a moment. Even if you love someone, you want to be together, you want the relationship to last, well then you have to work at it. Relationships with people, relationships with your passion, relationships with anything take work. Everyday. You. MUST. WORK. Or guess what? That relationship won’t work.
A woman whom I consider one of my closest friends told me she thought our relationship was ‘shifting’ the other day.
Guess why? Can you guess?
I’ll tell you.
We used to speak every day. I mean EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. And not just for a few minutes either. We would be on the phone for several hours every day. Then life inserted itself and her responsibilities grew. My responsibilities grew. And before you knew it, we had gone a month without speaking. In her mind, the connection had waned, we were going in different directions and for some people, without that daily connection, the work isn’t being put in, which reduces the intensity of the connection.
I personally don’t feel that way, but that’s neither here nor there. It’s just another example of what happens when you don’t work at something every day.
Now, back to this, ‘do what you love and the money will come’ notion.
Yes, it’s a beautiful thing to find what you love and be privileged to do it every day. To get paid to do it…is friggin’ orgasmic, I tell ya. It really is. But, to put the work in is really what counts. That’s how you get better.
My friend would tell me during our conversations that she didn’t feel she was the most beautiful person in the world, she wasn’t the most glamorous, she didn’t even feel that she was the most talented, but you know what she did feel? She felt that she could work out work anyone. She could work anyone under the table and that is what counts. That’s what counts more than talent. That’s what counts more than natural ability. That is what counts above all else. Hard work and I’m coming to find out…hard work more than ANYTHING is what will bring the benny’s to the table. Hard work and passion combined is what will bring the financial security that we (I) seek.
I’m just happy to have found that thing that I want to work at and be the best at…that way, I know I won’t quit because I have DEFINITELY found IT. And you better believe…I’m going to continue to work at it because I already know I’m good, but I’m going to continue to work because I know I can be the best at it.